thanks for the invitation but…

thanks for the invitation but...

being
a religious woman
effie
attended church
on
those holidays
necessary
to
maintain 
her social contract
with
the divine
easter
christmas
and
at least
one
other
randomly selected
day
a schedule
that
provided
one dedicated
service
for
the father
son
or
holy ghost
but
avoided
the routine
repetitive sunday sermons
that
other parishioners
found
indispensable
as
full time members
of
sinners anonymous
effie
had met
the new pastor
who
encouraged her
to
attend
more frequently
but
having seen
the handsome
young man
she knew
the deacons’ wives
would be
fantasizing
and
pressing close
to him
while cooking
in
the church kitchen
with
their
abundant
body parts
throughout
the after services
reception
which
always seemed
more like
a
repast
plus
she
had overheard
their
bachelorette daughters
scheming on
how to replace
his wife
so
effie decided
it was
far
holier
outside
the church
than
inside
accepting
that
sometimes
contact minimalism
is
best

 

 

persnickety…

sermons
always contained
just
enough
sideline sunday sin
to
engender
a level of guilt
that
fosters
donations
proportionate
to
perceived public perception
of
sins committed
offenders
carefully monitor
smiles
smirks
and
direct scours
of
other parishioners
to
assess
the level of discernment
by
said
members
to
the number of sins
previously
thought
to be
undisclosed
following
this post sermon survey
as
the collection t plate
canvasses the congregation
the magnitude of
the visible
repentance offering
is
adjusted
and
humbly given
but
with
flare

an invitation…

an invitation

come on down
to the front
of the church
leave
that back pew
and join
the few
in the front
don’t mine
sister jones’
grunts
she says
it’s the spirit
i suspect
it’s the chitterlings
she had
for yesterday’s lunch
you’ll have
an unobstructed view
of deacon smith’s
flirting
with samantha smith
no relation
other than
that
which occurs
as they say
round midnight
but don’t let
that ruin
your day
cuz’
after church
we’re having
a community meal
more food
than most folks
have seen all week
which is
why
there’s
so many
amens
trying to put
an end
to all this
fire and brimstone talk
looks like
deacon walker
awake now
must be
time
for some
heavenly chow