sorrry for the delay…

your request
for
a private audience
with
well
you know who
has been
denied
not
that you’re not
a saint
but
with all the
email snooping
and
computer hacking
one
cannot be too
careful
we
up here
would not want
to
jeopardize
the term
of your
existence
so
we shall
be in contact
with you
as soon as
we disconnect
your
phone tap
wires

dear registered voter…

the voting commission
regrets to inform you
that your request
for further information
on the candidates
based on the
freedom of  information act
has been denied
the commission
wishes to remind you
that press photos
of each of the candidates
have been provided
admittedly
with some photoshopping
by the respective campaign offices
however
we must remind you
candidates also have rights
revealing their political affiliation
agenda if elected
level of experience governing
or their true idenity
would place the candidates
in jeopardy
and
risk of lost votes
further you
as a member of the voting public
do not have the appropriate
security clearance
for that level of information
therefore
we recommend
that you study carefully
the press photos of the candidates
their family
and pets
and make your selection
as you have done
in the past