honey everybody who’s got fired from their job during the pandemic is setting up offices to replace the one they got terminated from and it don’t take any creativity to name the new office just add former to the title like office of the former talent delivery specialist office of the former snake milker or chick sexer child i’m telling you this could be the tax write off you’ve been looking for and if you set it up as a nonprofit you could keep all the profits
in an act more seditious than the last another american icon has been besieged an al qaeda-like anarchist moronic mongrel mob entered the hallowed aisles of bargain basement prices looting items consistent with the american dream carrying off cases of budweiser lays potato chips and condoms politico lindsey in another embarrassing moment for south carolina noted that no democrat complained when bin laden was killed why the big fuss over this walmart siege or that of the capital just boys having fun of course he needs their votes when they get out of prison
jackie and several of her nighttime hotel lobby friends were overheard discussing the flood of denials offered from the white house jackie said honey i’m telling you ain’t no way a voluptuous woman gonna voluntarily be chased around a bedroom by a fat white man in his underwear even if he’s the president of these united states meeting adjourned
white house press releases are passed out from the stage noting that presidential attorneys are scavenging state courts for evidence of the anti-tooth fairly a left leaning pixie known for stealing votes in the dead of the night from locked ballet boxes though its existence has been questioned by almost everyone there are a few believers wearing bright red attire to attract and trap this elusive critter trappers unfortunately have been using monkey traps bated with silver coins most of the trappers have been unable to remove their hand from the coconut for some unspecified reason meanwhile back in washington the construction of the orange knight’s kingdom continues using only the finest fabrications
although the names change they all share common tenets first deny what’s real then accept the written word given by an unseen god an unseen god that only has private briefings with select prophets who were moved to write his words in order to save us all that is all that will not question what’s been written and of course provide for the prophet’s earthly needs as down payment towards heaven
fly in me face fly on me head fly in me face fly on me head well i hope de fly don’t come out and land on me head tonight well i went out to de debate and i’m feelin’ a little spaced and i sit down at the stage desk and a fly lands on me head well de fly come down from de farm you see he wait just off stage when he hear that i’m telling a lot of bull de fly land on me head fly on me head fly on me head well i hope de fly he don’t come out and land on me head tonight de fly he like foul things all the children know that what i need to know from de lord is how you get de truth from liars they say liars never win and truth will show all sins but what i am afraid of is that he got another plan to hide more things…
Based on De Bat (Fly In Me Face)” a song from Carly Simon’
the president’s doctor comes from a long history of bone readers in fact some of your ancestors may have sought similar spiritual wisdom from the analytical interpretations of patterns of bones scattered on pieces of black cloth there’s something ironic about the color of the cloth but that’s another discussion for now we’ll just focus on traditional techniques of offering messages to the querent in this case the president and although there was no press coverage of the actual bone reading that viral las vegas toss it was apparent from the moment the helicopter arrived on the white house lawn that the bones foretold of deeply concerning events in the president’s future so he was immediately rushed to a military hospital a sort of a medical bunker designed to fend off what almost 300,000 americans have died from but once again that’s another story so we’ll return to the central topic of this verse bones cast before swines a story of melodrama a masked man full of steroids sauntering onto the white house lawn then rising like a phoenix into an election sun seeking voters’ sympathy within the confines of a taxpayer sponsored hypochondriac haven but alas the bones were misdiagnosed necessitating a hasty return to the white house to inquire about a divination for the nation