being
the last one
to
leave the service
a service
and
sermon
that seemed
like
the never ending story
to
even
the adults
in
the congregation
the pastor
decided
to finish off
the wine
for as
most folks know
opened wine
just doesn’t
last
until
the next
sunday sermon
so
it seemed
quite
reasonable
not
to let
good wine
go
to
waste
unfortunately
the drive
home
from the country
church
was
quite slow
due to
the bad roads
full
of potholes
and
as you all know
potholes
and
full kidneys
do not
go well together
so
the good pastor
made
the proverbial
pitstop
assuming
the secluded spot
surrounded
by trees
and
such
would provide
appropriate
cover
alas
as he was
feeling
the full blessings
of
redemption
he was
startled
by
a somewhat
angry voice
asking
why
he
was reliving
himself
on the grave
of
a great
texas governor
been feeling poorly these last few days had a fever and congestion in my chest but it ain’t nothing to worry ’bout cuz my friend told me there ain’t no such a thing as germs or virus said he read it on the internet so it must be true i was gonna talk to him ’bout my current condition but i read in the paper he died yesterday in the hospital but i’m not worried i got a clean hanky in my burial suit pocket
please stay
in
your
designated line
divine blessings
on
earth
are allotted
according to
your position
in line
but
rest assured
that
you’ll
be
given
a fair share
of
life’s bounty
upon
your souls passing
into
the chimeric promised land
a sure guarantee
from those
who
oppressed you
during
your time
on
earth
honey everybody who’s got fired from their job during the pandemic is setting up offices to replace the one they got terminated from and it don’t take any creativity to name the new office just add former to the title like office of the former talent delivery specialist office of the former snake milker or chick sexer child i’m telling you this could be the tax write off you’ve been looking for and if you set it up as a nonprofit you could keep all the profits
in an act more seditious than the last another american icon has been besieged an al qaeda-like anarchist moronic mongrel mob entered the hallowed aisles of bargain basement prices looting items consistent with the american dream carrying off cases of budweiser lays potato chips and condoms politico lindsey in another embarrassing moment for south carolina noted that no democrat complained when bin laden was killed why the big fuss over this walmart siege or that of the capital just boys having fun of course he needs their votes when they get out of prison
jackie and several of her nighttime hotel lobby friends were overheard discussing the flood of denials offered from the white house jackie said honey i’m telling you ain’t no way a voluptuous woman gonna voluntarily be chased around a bedroom by a fat white man in his underwear even if he’s the president of these united states meeting adjourned
white house press releases are passed out from the stage noting that presidential attorneys are scavenging state courts for evidence of the anti-tooth fairly a left leaning pixie known for stealing votes in the dead of the night from locked ballet boxes though its existence has been questioned by almost everyone there are a few believers wearing bright red attire to attract and trap this elusive critter trappers unfortunately have been using monkey traps bated with silver coins most of the trappers have been unable to remove their hand from the coconut for some unspecified reason meanwhile back in washington the construction of the orange knight’s kingdom continues using only the finest fabrications
although the names change they all share common tenets first deny what’s real then accept the written word given by an unseen god an unseen god that only has private briefings with select prophets who were moved to write his words in order to save us all that is all that will not question what’s been written and of course provide for the prophet’s earthly needs as down payment towards heaven
