thanks for the invitation but…

thanks for the invitation but...

being
a religious woman
effie
attended church
on
those holidays
necessary
to
maintain 
her social contract
with
the divine
easter
christmas
and
at least
one
other
randomly selected
day
a schedule
that
provided
one dedicated
service
for
the father
son
or
holy ghost
but
avoided
the routine
repetitive sunday sermons
that
other parishioners
found
indispensable
as
full time members
of
sinners anonymous
effie
had met
the new pastor
who
encouraged her
to
attend
more frequently
but
having seen
the handsome
young man
she knew
the deacons’ wives
would be
fantasizing
and
pressing close
to him
while cooking
in
the church kitchen
with
their
abundant
body parts
throughout
the after services
reception
which
always seemed
more like
a
repast
plus
she
had overheard
their
bachelorette daughters
scheming on
how to replace
his wife
so
effie decided
it was
far
holier
outside
the church
than
inside
accepting
that
sometimes
contact minimalism
is
best