aunt bea wasn’t a church going woman she was confident in her faith she would say i don’t need some old pastor to tell me what when and how to believe it is what it is and it ain’t gonna change so imagine my surprise when she asked me to drive her to church though none of my business i did ask why she said there’s a new young preacher and all the old ladies and their unwed daughters will be out in force all carrying their bibles like cinderella’s shoe and that’s a show i don’t want to miss
sitting quite sanctimoniously on the deacon’s bench brother jones was the model of calm and cool until miss maybel wearing her trademark red dress and high heels sporting a walk even pastor brown followed with each step to the front of the church to confess her sins and with whom
standing before the pews with both hands on the altar he raises his hands in the air and begins to work the religious flippers bringing tears of joy and witnesses galore as his words pinball through the well dressed congregation of brothers and sisters the amens and hallelujahs are punctuated with chords of music from the choir like the bells and whistles of a game machine and the parishioners light up as they hear what god has in store for them but the pastor hits tilt when he mentions one of their sins
honey
i am so mad
i could spit
there i was
on the line with the one
and
only
divine being
don’t even
begin
to ask me for a formal name
like Mohammed, Christ, etc.
or whether it’s a
he or she
there was this mention of
boils
and
personal plagues
for revealing
heavenly secrets
so don’t even go there
anyway
as i was saying
there i was
well actually it was a conference call
with several other folks on the line
but that’s not important
i was the one
from
our
neighborhood
on the line
not pastor brown
but anyway
not to boast
or anything
i had just asked this question
’bout what was the true religion
well all hell broke out then
there were folks saying
it’s mine
no it’s mine
it was just like listening
to a group of kindergarten children
arguing over a dead bug
one person claimed
the church was like a pot bellied stove
you had to attend to keep
the fires burning
another said the church was everywhere
cause god was everywhere
so there wasn’t any reason
to hang out with a bunch of hypocrites
then child
some fools
chimes in
that god was on his side for war
of course
someone else called him a name
that I can’t repeat right now
but let’s just say
that they are no longer among us
on this earth for
that little outburst
so then without warning
someone begins
to talk about religion
and politics
oh child
if you could’ve heard
the thunder at that point
you would know
never
on any given day
to make the connection
but the words were spoken
and the answer was quite clear
wait
just give me a minute
honey
oh yes
something about
render to Caesar
i just can’t remember right now
but
that was
followed by something
to do with
oh yes
how there was only one way to truth
and then
all i heard
was
you never heard what i said
you’ve created a shopping mall
for religion
so you can
pick and choose
what you want
rather than
do what
i
said
then honey
the line
went
dead
oh my lord what a sermon
oh…my lord
what a sermon
oh my lord
what…
a sermon
rev jones moaned and groaned
and moaned and groaned
so loud
that even deacon smith
shouted like he believed in god
and child let me tell you this
sister bates started waving her hands
like she thought she was separating the red sea itself
then she took to talking in tongues
her voice just seemed to fill the church
honey we couldn’t even hear aunt liz’s solo
which may be why she got so loud
lord knows you can’t have pastor notice no
one but her
then of course there was us…
sitting in the back of the church
we were busy counting the lights in the ceiling
and wondering why
the holy ghost didn’t just come and stop all this
cause we all knew come monday…
no one would remember a thing…
Read Between the Minds 