the brown bag prophet was holding up a sign that read fear not nra given there are alternative meanings i asked him do you mean we should not fear the nra or that the nra should not fear the latter the prophet said because they’ll lose their bump stocks but keep their m16’s so we’ll all have to continue to fear them and the murders they co-sponsor
the brown bag prophet was sitting at a city park table when i finished my morning bike ride he was writing and had an unusually intense look about him i asked what are you writing a letter to the president and the rest of the nra staff in the congress asking them to provide the school children and teachers here in the city with some of the same body armor they plan on sending the syrian rebels cuz’ these streets are a battlefield of an undeclared war ignored by salaried politicians who swore on the holy book to care for the victims of society’s dictators this here’s guerrilla warfare where drug lords and corporate reps rule the streets these kids should be given the same protection offered to non-residents of this fair land of ours a small token of hope to fend off the bullets paid for by political kiss ass
the man next door to aunt bea a lifelong member of the nra has been bugging her for some time now to get some protection as he calls it insurance for a woman living alone she’s offered a number of reasonable arguments attempting to soothe his genuine concern but none have made the slightest dent in his thick skull so i was certain that his most recent request to assure her safety safety in dire peril in light of the ever-increasing horde of foreigners he had cataloged coming into the neighborhood would meet with the same fate as prior proposals imagine my surprise when she said yes i was certain that she’d never acquiesce and go with him to the local gun protection shop she did and when the man in the shop asked what she might need she said perhaps a grenade launcher so i can keep pace with my neighbors