i am a fading portrait each friend’s death dims a part of who i am and each death within the family makes faint a portion of who i was soon i will have no eyes to see into tomorrow
each night the same prayers were said before meals and bed the child wondered in his head whether or not god had a hearing problem and so like with his grandmother things needed to be repeated or whether god was like uncle joe terribly forgetful needing to be reminded daily of the chores assigned to him by grandfather perhaps neither of those were true perhaps god was an obstinate child refusing to respond to requests in prayers unless the number of requests equaled the critical breaking point of his parents’ patience that breaking point just before unwarranted punishment that seemed to be the most logical conclusion and indeed one he could identify with
yes you’ve been struggling with schedules balancing work traveling to seminars juggling client social activities and i know you requested all appointments be canceled for your annual family day but death refused to wait
rising each morning avoiding an array of once-used christmas toys scattered about like so many fallen battlefield soldiers though these are not bleeding but disregarded in the same manner a quick shower and coffee on the run just to sit motionless in some smog-filled valley joining all the others texting the office on their late arrival an electronic time clock punching routine arriving and attempting to avoid the secretary’s indignant stare retreating to the confines of the stacks of half-completed memos which multiply during the course of the day only to reach the end of the day and cycle back into the smog and minefield of toys to reach the family dinner on trays in the front room to listen to filtered news then early to bed no sugar plums fairies dancing just upcoming bills and then return to line one
aunt bea said honey now here’s one of those post that should’ve gone viral talking about the word erstwhile erstwhile friends and lovers you know those folks who’ve abdicated their responsibilities to relationships in order to pursue self-interests i was just thinking it should have included erstwhile families
i keep having this conversation with myself that won’t come true where i tell you what really happened and what lies have been told and you believe me that’s why i know it won’t come true
welcome to the heaven’s gate app please enter your first name middle initial family name please indicate those sins which you regret most no need to list all our data base is quite extensive we’re just trying to see if you have similar values as management please indicate what you believe in we will correlate your responses to your life pattern to determine the validity and reliability of your submitted data patterns of responses will be statistically analyzed and evaluated through the appropriate deity filter depending upon whom you thought was important during your visible life please note the deity of record is not the determining factor but rather the correlation with assigned doctrine management does not expect that you would truly know who was really in charge during your existence a printout of these data will be provided prior to ascension or in some cases what has been termed a fall from grace note these results are not debatable