on a bar stool
drinking
without
regret
challenged
the god
of
his belief
to
a drinking
contest
the challenger
won
for
god’s glass
remained
full
the entire time
until he drank
that too
i’ve become
more
depressed
lately
by
the
way that ignorance
has
enveloped
the
world around me
my
delusions
of
freedom
have
been
replaced
with such a deep
remorse
for
believing
and
dreaming
that
life
could be
as
promised
they
were always
eggshell hopes
but
gradient moments
of
freedom
kept
the fantasy
alive
but now
as
death
becomes
the main course
of
my future
i’ve
reconsidered
my insanity
as
a bit
of
self-hypnosis
brought on
by
societal spin
which
is
neither
here
nor
there
just
a side reference
for
my
note
nothing
will be placed
upon
the earth
to
mark
that i was here
it is
by my choice
for
no one
really
looks at graves
oh
someone
may wander by
and
comment
about
a clever verse
inscribed
upon
the marble
but
it is
the inscription
that’s
recalled
not
the person
no one
ever really knew
the
person
that
housed the soul
beneath
the flesh
that’s
why
we’re not recalled
we began
as a faded image
and
death
merely bleached
what
was left
leaving
at best
a sketch
of
what
people wanted
to
believe
the wine stained carpet holds oak pews worn smooth from ups-and-downs pews where generic prayers from hymnal page twenty-nine shall we gather at the river are offered as indemnification in the event that their souls wash up on heaven’s shores hymns offered in a voice befitting their status as part-time believers and full-time seekers of pleasure the kinds of folks you find every weekend night hanging tight with those half their age youths impressed with their worldly wisdom wisdom plagiarized from the new yorker and regurgitated after several glasses of the in drink and though they died year ago the shell of their existence still haunts this earth with after dinner drinks in hand and fantasies fluttering around their corpses
bapa dola said that belief is a mountain lake beneath its clear cold waters the truth can be see swimming freely reachable but to grasp it one must understand how one’s belief distorts their view
aunt bea always says grace before eating even if its some takeout that i dropped-off on my way home from work she told me there were times when there wasn’t much on the table but family and friends would stop by for dinner everyone brought something a rabbit or possum an uncle had caught cooked by his wife some greens and corn harvested by others and the occasional bottle of whiskey given as gift from a wealthy employer for house cleaning well done and even though it wasn’t as much as some folks had everyone left with a full helping of love