never eat a mushroom unless you can positively identify it…

i got
aunt bea
a new iphone
so
we could
do
a little facetime
while
we’re confined
to
our respective
homes
we were
reminiscing
about
my inability
as
a youth
to
distinguish mushrooms
that
were edible
from
those
that were
poisonous
i suppose
it’s
a bit
like
picking
the right president
aunt bea
said
sometimes
we can’t choose
for
ourselves
and
every now
and
then
that can be
a good thing
but
we must always
be
observant
and
actively engaged
just
in case
those who
chose
for
us
made
a serious
mistake

 

communicating with the dead…

at city council
he
proposed
that
the local graveyard
be
given
it’s own
zip code
and
that
each grave
be furnished
with
a mailbox
constructed
of
donated pvc pipe
which
could be
fabricated
at
the local prison
as
community service
thus
facilitating
each prisoner’s chance
for
parole
further
he stated
in
a rather somber voice
it would ensure
that
those
who had
passed on
would not
be
ignored
by
the us postal service
then
he said
with
a stage whisper
it would save
the city
the cost
of
return
postage

i’m gonna sue you…

the brown bag prophet
was handing out
political pamphlets
which
isn’t so unusual
this time of the year
but
given his
general attitude
towards
politicos
i had to find out
why
he would support
anyone
he paused
and then
said
i suppose
you
like most folks
recall
the skinny little dude
who ran his mouth
all the time
yelling at others
and
calling them names
which
were
for the most part
characteristic
of
himself
and
when challenged
by
someone
who was going
to
kick his ass
he’d
run home
to
his mother
and
hide
as they say
behind her skirt
it’s kinda
like
the current president
hiding behind
the law
when caught breaking
the laws
of
the land
look at this activity
as
showing his mom
a youtube video
of
the little jerk

 

cracker jack prize…

a rather
routine
event
body
lies
properly modified
for
appreciation
by
family
friends
and
those who
had
prayed
for
this day
when
suddenly
the corpse
coughs
this
of course
was
quite
out of the ordinary
and
most
disturbing
to
all
there
was
a series
of
oh dear gods
offered
and
numerous
i didn’t mean what i said
those
plaster saint retractions
filling
the mortuary
chapel
of
forgiveness
but then
someone’s cat
unceremoniously
emerged
from
the coffin
hairball
propelled
at
an ungrateful
and
spiteful
relative
hmm
perhaps
the
dead
do
speak

 

christmas’ last man standing…

by
early evening
little eyes
that
refused to close
the
night before
now
have
sustained blinks
during
the dinner dessert
and
slow motion efforts
to
retrieve
the so sought after toys
strewn
across
the living room floor
as if
members
of
some arctic search party
seeking
small shreds
of
brightly colored paper
and
puppy chewed ribbons
that are
the collateral damage
of
christmas morning’s celebration
of
childhood
and
before one can count
to
four
tired parents
are
fast asleep
in their chairs
as
children
with
visions dancing
in
their heads
revive
and
play
till dawn