no where to be found not a speck of it absolutely nil there’s nothing in sight as far as the eye can see weeks ago there it was but once dollars were flowing it suddenly disappeared oh moral courage lost in the senate
presidential press drone explains the fat guy thought portland was in afghanistan his mercenaries were well trained for murder but not for reasonable reactions to unarmed citizens citizens doing what our forefathers did when they were faced with the tyranny of an imperial regime
many of you have accepted the needless deaths of thousands of americans as a result of the gross incompetence of the white house but i personally cannot accept the slaughter of the easter bunny because of covid-19 inaction oh that veiled excuse that we will be opened by easter was no more than a smoke screen while the president family and friends stuffed their wallets with our tax dollars whatever my problem is the assassination of my candy man the easter bunny and his family they are history and for me that’s the last straw we must rise up and end this pandemic of incompetence
her day has been totally ruined by death plans to reduce her stress level from being confined on her estate by having her nails done roots dyed and a proper styling for her position endeavors facilitated by when the state approved the opening of salons she had also taken strigent precautions of her own she had her driver disinfect the limousine from bumper to bumper with some rather expensive solution provided free of charge by the government for her significant contributions to the election campaign further her personal maid entered the premises first as you might say as a mine canary all was well however as she left the premises a homeless man came to her from nowhere and died at her feet coughing she was rushed to her personal physician who assured her
that all was well and that an injection of lysol was not needed however she was severely later for dinner
step right up and get your covid-19 cure here now i’m certain some of you heard from the scientific community that there’s no cure for the virus but the cure’s here yes folks these little beauties are the answer to all your prayers made from genuine household disinfectant and endorsed by the president himself that giant ego in the east no need for you to consult some overtrained doctor when our escapee from the insane asylum can provide you with the last injection and medicine you’ll ever take
quite a simple plan sacrifice all old people to balance budget let them all get the virus thus reducing tax burdens since that would decrease the earned retirement payouts though they’ve sacrificed the economy’s foremost so your grandparents are toast however government can channel funds to the rich making them richer and social security will be a thing of the past as for young workers they’ll continue servitude just making ends meet crushed grains of humanity beneath the grindstone of greed bright side there’s no need to fatten up poor children to feed the wealthy since food will be plentiful without those old folks around
welcome to the united states if you are returning home early from europe in response to the president’s cerebral patellar reflex and have the coronavirus be assured that by the time we finish with the health screening at the end of this crowded and poorly ventilated space you won’t be alone oh and by the way do not remove the toilet paper from the airport bathrooms regardless of the hoarding you’ve heard about taking place across the nation and by the way safe journeys home welcome home
there is little disagreement about their decaying nature and most folks consider the stench from their rotting souls particularly unpleasant however when pious platitude persons carefully evaluate how much money they’ve made from these walking political corpses an offensive defense is offered in behalf of the not so dearly departed they wear clean underwear