dark humor

by

dashboard heaven…

to some
the almighty
is
a bobbing head
on
a dashboard
accompanied
by
a string
of
artificial pearls
suspending
a
wholesale
gold plated
man made
representation
of
the divine
a
modern day
version
of
the biblical
golden
calf
depending
on
which
wine inspired
text
you’ve read
but
putting
that
aside
the drive by religious blessors
tabulating
televangelist
who’ve
found
gold
now
find sin
far
more
acceptable
including
that of
a
national rapist
adulterer
and
liar
as long as
their financials
continue
to look good
prayer book partiers
who
encourage
you
to tune in
while
they tune out
the true message
but
you should
stay tuned
judgement day
of
some sort
or
another
is bound
to happen

 

by

clinical research findings….

from
time to time
i’ve
noted
that
the brown bag prophet
indulges himself
by
reading
incongruous
research
on
an array
of
topics
this week
he was readings
a hans selye
monograph
about
living with stress
without
distress
when i inquired
as
to why
the prophet
said
i’ve been trying
to
figure out
why
people
like
the president
who’ve
committed
obvious
moral
and
social crimes
don’t
respond
to
society stress
when
caught
in
their own rat traps
selye’s research
on
rats
notes
it’s very difficult
to
stress
rats

 

by

judaism…

it would appear
that
the world’s dictionaries
religious scholars
as well as
most
jews
have been
mistaken
for
centuries
judaism
is
not
a monotheistic
religion
but
a
nationality
according
to
that
well read
religious scholar
in
the white house
who
between
visits
to
stormy daniels
has
had a mental
erection
resulting
in
an ejaculated
executive order
producing
the pre-election
pronouncement
but
that raises
another question
will
every jew
in the united states
have
to apply for a passport
or
a visa
to stay
in the country

 

by

gop…

the brown bag prophet
was sitting
quietly
at
a park bench
writing
with
furrowed brows
in
an old notebook
as if
he were
attempting
to
solve some
deep mystery
when i inquired
as
to what he was working on
he said
i’m 
trying to figure out
how the republican party
might redefine themselves
once they
sell out
the american public
during the trump
impeachment trial in the senate
i’ve come up
with some
but
i doubt
that
they’ll sell
the political product
he said
what do you think about
one of these
for
gop
grand obsolete party
goons of putin
gag order presidentship
gaga over putin
guilty of panjandrum
government of pandemonium
guardians of pantophobia
gouging oppressed public
i
interrupted his long list
and
said
you’re right
neither you
nor
they
can sell anyone
on
turning your back
on
the constitutional fact
that
no man
is
above the law

 

by

empty shell…

words
from
the altar
life after death
images
of
an egyptian pharaoh
sailing
to
the afterlife
aboard
a
felucca
following
embalming
and
funeral festivities
but
burial goods
acquired
during life
and
necessary after death
according
to scripture
have been updated
for
today’s
funeral procession participants
burial goods
are kept
at
a bare minimum
just
the shirt on the back
and
a one-time
favorite
black suit
or
dress
is
deemed
all that’s necessary
the rest
are the spoils
of
government
and
suddenly
concerned family members
of
the
dearly
departed
members
of
life’s invisible family
now
shedding
copious
and
very visible tears
during
the
funerary text
salty secretion
most likely
due
to
indigestion
from
airport food
cheap sustenance
ingested
during
the trip
to claim
some
share
of
the postmortem booty
but
with
slumped silhouettes
and
carefully staged tears
these
family members
engender
words
of
comfort
from
naive observers
and
men
of
organized gods
parish soothsayers
also seeking
a portion
of
death’s plunder
but
alas
there
was
a trust
providing
as little as the law allows
to
each
pandering predator
in
the pews
the
rest
to charity
the grave robbers
have
arrived
too late