the gray morning
air presses hard
against me
holding back
the sounds
of my footsteps
that were so clear
and distinct
as i began
this journey
but now
all i can hear
are my labored breaths
in and out
and
my throbbing heart
a heart seeking
to escape
these city walls
to leave behind
this street
where laughter
and joy
have fled
where only
your memory resides
shrouded in betrayal
wearing a cross
of lies
to conceal
the truth
of who
and what
you are
and what
you’ve done
This poem represents my second response to the second challenge series between Jade and I. As you may recall, each poet provides the other with a series of photos, visual prompts, from which the poet is to write a poem. Jade has written her response which can be found here.
All of the pictures from this challenge were taken in Germany just before Christmas 2008… it was one of the darkest periods of my life, and the offset of a decision which costs me sleep and peace of mind even now. I cannot stop marveling at how accurately you got the message behind the pitures… to me it is beyond unbelievable…
It’s almost like you are whirling and spiralling in this street
and your head is aching to be released from a waking nightmare! I know this feeling well, too.
What is interesting about your comment is that in one draft of the poem I had used the word “whirling and spiralling” … but in the final draft removed them. Thanks for your comments.
Great poem– great picture! The attitude of the protagonist is so clear. Nicely done. & sorry for your iambic pentameter scars… http://mairmusic.wordpress.com/
aaarrrgghhh.. if only we could all run away.. and be free!
I could almost see frantically running around, eyes red due to sleeplessness, a disheveled look worn!
Very nicely done, Charles… the confusion, helplessness and frustration are so apparent here..
Honey, you haven’t felt the air pressing hard against you until you’ve been to New Orleans in the summertime. The air there reaches in your pants and squeezes, but that’s an entirely different poem, isn’t it? 🙂
Amazing words and collaborations, and I am in love with the photo for this post….ahhh and my dreamy mind drifts, and of course my artistic mind would love to capture such a view and alter the image to some unusual state of being…..
Captivated by your words though sad a finish…..like I wished for it to change and carry it far beyond the city walls… excellent!
This is most awesome. Your words really flow with this one, and your images and emotions are very well depicted. Keep up the great writing. I love reading your work.
shrouded in betrayal
wearing a cross
of lies
to conceal
the truth
.
.
.
.
these words shot me hard :3
when there is lies there is always a truth behind
no matter where you are, pain is kind of everywhere =P
Read Between the Minds 
The words, “where laughter and joy have fled where only your memory resides shrouded in betrayal” seem to resonate a very ominous feeling for me.
An awesome and very captivating poem.
All of the pictures from this challenge were taken in Germany just before Christmas 2008… it was one of the darkest periods of my life, and the offset of a decision which costs me sleep and peace of mind even now. I cannot stop marveling at how accurately you got the message behind the pitures… to me it is beyond unbelievable…
boy that betrayal rings loud and clear off the cobbled streets.
you always hit the intense moment
Nice one my friend
Happy Wednesday
deja vu. we all have to stand at this crossroad.
beautiful poem. you truly are an awesome poet my dear friend.
love.
like! 🙂 new here and great poetry!
I would want to escape those walls as well, especially with the memory of the betrayal… Well done, C!
It’s almost like you are whirling and spiralling in this street
and your head is aching to be released from a waking nightmare! I know this feeling well, too.
What is interesting about your comment is that in one draft of the poem I had used the word “whirling and spiralling” … but in the final draft removed them. Thanks for your comments.
I can feel the claustrophobia and the ache of betryal … and you got the message across with such grace. Thank you! Jade’s photo is lovely.
Wonderful poem. It almost sounds as if you might have loved one of the Fae. In which case only longing and sorry are your companions. Excellent work.
Melanie
I can hear it, feel it, see it and the picture takes shape… really awesome 🙂
Great poem– great picture! The attitude of the protagonist is so clear. Nicely done. & sorry for your iambic pentameter scars…
http://mairmusic.wordpress.com/
aaarrrgghhh.. if only we could all run away.. and be free!
I could almost see frantically running around, eyes red due to sleeplessness, a disheveled look worn!
Very nicely done, Charles… the confusion, helplessness and frustration are so apparent here..
Hey there
Like to invite to our page;
https://nangso.wordpress.com/
hope to see ya there
WOIH
Honey, you haven’t felt the air pressing hard against you until you’ve been to New Orleans in the summertime. The air there reaches in your pants and squeezes, but that’s an entirely different poem, isn’t it? 🙂
Also, the above comment is completely inappropriate. Some days inspire inappropriateness, don’t you think?
Amazing words and collaborations, and I am in love with the photo for this post….ahhh and my dreamy mind drifts, and of course my artistic mind would love to capture such a view and alter the image to some unusual state of being…..
Captivated by your words though sad a finish…..like I wished for it to change and carry it far beyond the city walls… excellent!
we all need to move on by forgiving and focus on positive stuff…
well crafted poem.
🙂
Wow- excellent Charles
You leave my speechless with your talent Charles..you got this one right down to perfection. Thank you x
This is most awesome. Your words really flow with this one, and your images and emotions are very well depicted. Keep up the great writing. I love reading your work.
This resonates with such electric urgency. I felt it completely.
A throbbing heart punctured by the sharp sword of lies…such pain here. Great write, though. Heartspell
nice 🙂 i like it!
shrouded in betrayal
wearing a cross
of lies
to conceal
the truth
.
.
.
.
these words shot me hard :3
when there is lies there is always a truth behind
no matter where you are, pain is kind of everywhere =P
Moving! This piece took me on the long journey from first love to heart break in such a short time, and also describes the ghosts that dog our steps.